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End of Summer Blues

Good morning! It's been a while since I've written anything here...and to be honest, it is because I do not feel like I have had anything positive to write about. Life has really gotten hold of me lately, and it has been a little rough inside of my head. This last weekend, however, I went back home to Palestine - literally just for 24 hours - and left feeling a little lighter and renewed.

Crystal Lake | Palestine, TX

There are so many things happening right now in my work life - some I can talk about, and some that I am not able to publicly express yet. I finally did fire the client that I mentioned in one of my previous posts, and it did take some of the stress off of my head. However, as it always goes, the dominos fall, so now I am forced to look harder for new clients! I have had my first batch of business cards made, and have reached out to family, friends and coworkers for their help in finding someone who needs my expertise. Nothing has come to fruition yet, so that has created a bit of stress. Basically - I traded one stressor for another. In the long run, however, I firmly believe that it was the right move to make.

Life at Billy Bob's is great, just always looking for a new Partner to bring on board! It does get frustrating feeling lost in the middle while trying to find the "right person" at a big company to talk to. I have the Western Industry leaders covered - boots, jeans, tractor, western store - so now I'm reaching further out, which is a hard network to get familiar with. Online forms be damned... So, with the help from a coworker at BBT, I MAY have found someone who can get me to the "right person" - I'll let you know what happens there. Either way, I am so thankful for great people willing to lend a contact I can at least talk to.

At the Texas Cowboy Hall of Fame, we are already in the beginning stages of planning Induction 2022! It is such a wonderful event, BUT it is the most stressful event that I help with. Today is our first meeting. The date has been set for a while now, but logistics of that date and some additional things popping up around that date have been challenging. It is forcing us to change up how we are doing things this year - which is fine, just different. It will be a beautiful event, and I hope you come!!!!!!!

Finally, I get to Chute Help! This is definitely the most stressful of them all. We are very curious about how NFR will shape up this year. In an article I have read, Vegas is implementing new laws on Oct. 4 that will require vaccine proof and / or testing to get into certain venues...also masks. While I know our Trade Show contacts do not believe in this, they will have to adhere to whatever the policy is for Mandalay Bay (the trade show venue). As individuals, as well as a company, we will not be sharing our private medical paperwork with anyone except our doctors. We also will not be sitting in a booth with a mask on all day. I also am curious how our customers will feel if these restrictions are in place - will there be anyone there to shop at all?

On top of all of the NFR talk, we also are still running Chute Help day-to-day. Austin and I carry 99% of the load at the company...our job descriptions are monumental and sometimes maddening. I don't know if anyone realizes the amount of duties, tasks and stress that befalls us here. We are so thankful, however, for the guys we currently have at the shop - this is the first crew we have ever had there that we can count on.

The final stress I'll mention - horses. Enough said...if you've got them, you get it. If you don't, they are beautiful and loving - I don't know what I'd do without them - but they are WORK and $$$.

All of that spelled out in a blog, and I then get to the part where I feel guilty about neglecting others - family and friends. I am wrapped up in my stress (most of which mention above) and have little to no energy to expend on my relationships with friends and family. That makes me feel guilty and also agitated with myself. The agitation with myself is noticeable and can be misconstrued - I tend to say things in the wrong way or in the wrong tone, or I get defensive when it's not something to be defensive about. That then leads to more guilt.

So, this last weekend, I went to Crystal Lake in Palestine. A place that feels just as much like home to me as my house in Brock. It's the same it has always been - nothing ever changes, which for a Type A like me, is a dream come true. Saturday night there, I had a wonderful sleep - the best I have had in a long time. It did renew me a little, I am hoping that the sleep I had was a way for my body to release some of the weight that I have been feeling and carrying around.

Now, I am looking forward to my 20-year Palestine High School reunion in October, and I can't wait! Familiar friends that I miss every day will be there, and we can do what we have always done.

That's where I stand today. Still not 100% stress free, but hoping that getting it all out there will be helpful 💗


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