My Grandma is the wisest person that I know. She has been in Heaven since 2008, but she is still the best, wisest, kindest and Godliest person that I know. There are so many of us that try and try to emulate her, but gosh...it is hard.
The way that she lived her life was thru God, and we so often heard her say "rise above it". No matter if times were hard or times were good! Most of the time, when we are in hard moments, however, it is hard (if not seemingly impossible), to rise above it.
My feelings are hurt quite easily, and to compensate for that, I typically give off a very hard exterior. It's not the right way to live, but it is how I have always coped with my sensitivity. I make sure that ALL of my ducks are in a row (I am the queen of having proof) at all times, so that when my feelings are hurt, I have undeniable proof that whatever or whoever happened couldn't have been right to do so to me. Even with all of that proof, I am still sitting there in my feelings, fighting the urge to send all of my proof to the perpetrator's inbox, or call to make sure that they know or remember everything.
I also have this really great habit of not telling anyone about the hard things happening that make me feel so bad. Unfortunately that leads me to shutting down completely - not wanting to talk about anything with myself, but deflecting to the oldie but goodie, "How are you?" and "What have yall been up to?" My husband maybe gets the worst of it and I just go completely silent...it is painful for him, but he either sits there patiently waiting for me to spill my feelings or drags it out of me.
I am pretty easy to admit when I am wrong, I believe. I find great relief in apologizing when I have been found incorrect, however, we then circle back to me having black and white proof for everything before it comes out of my mouth or thru written words. Therefore, if you were to ask me, I am not typically wrong...haha
So, back to the subject at hand. To rise above something that I see is so wrong, hurtful, terrible and manipulative is hard. How do I cope? I think that my Grandma meant to look up - all we have is God. Rise above the earthly things that weigh us down and search for God. Everything seems so heavy, but I have to find a way to rise up and let God shine on my face.
I lament that Grandma is no longer here on Earth to teach us what she knows. I know that all of us in my family long for her everyday and remember her as the best person...I would be shocked if when we all got to Heaven we didn't discover that she was an undercover angel.
Rise Above It with God's Help.