The Reality of the "Reality Circles"
What are the "Reality Circles", and why are they important? What do we think SHOULD happen, or what do we think people SHOULD do? That word...SHOULD. That one simple one-syllable word, SHOULD, takes us completely out of reality, and into a place of disappointment, anger, resentment, heartache...because that one singular word does not have any place in reality.
I learned about this phenomenon from a gifted Counselor, Lynn Busch, and each time I speak with her, we always make it back around to the reality circles. To explain, from my own perspective, there are two circles that exist, one circle is labeled "Reality", and the other one is "Non Reality". They could not be farther away from each other, but come together so quickly when the word "should" comes out of my mouth.
Lynn has drawn this illustration for me so many times. With my Type A personality, of course I think that I always know best: what people should do, where people should go, how people should act, where people should put things or people should apologize, people should be happy, etc. Each time my Type A self gets into that situation, all heck breaks loose, and my anger, resentment, disbelief, frustration...any and all negative feelings start coming out. Why would I do that to myself? Why take myself out of Reality, where I can feel at ease, and know that the only thing on this earth that I can control is myself?
These reality circles are everywhere, if you think about it - listen to this, and see if you can tell what I mean, "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference." You might have heard that prayer before, but what it does, for me, is takes the pressure off of me to try and make everyone and everything else "perfect" by my standards. All we can control is ourselves, inside and out. There are so many more teachings of this thought and act in prayer, literature and songs.
This relief is comforting when I realize it, but geez, it is hard to remember all of the time. Most of the time, I am not all that successful. That's when, in my mind, I have to be able to see the Reality Circles and pray the Serenity Prayer. After that pressure is released, I can then, hopefully, be mindful enough to pray for the person that "should" be doing something. In that case, I can put it in God's hands.
So, the reality is this...we SHOULD always try and remember the Reality Circles. It takes me a moment, and takes me quite a bit of practice, but practice makes perfect, right? At least that's what my Type A, Type 1 Enneagram, ISFJ wants me to believe anyway - perfection should always my be in reach. Dang, now I'm back in "Non-Reality"! See how quickly that happens?! 😉
Reading “The Reality of the ‘Reality Circles’” made me reflect on how easily perceptions can shape the way we understand everyday experiences. During my college days, I struggled academically, and those challenges eventually inspired me to help others facing similar difficulties. I’m now a PhD student and work part-time at the affordable assignment, where I’ve learned that thoughtful discussion can make complicated ideas clearer. That same mindset helps me approach topics such as NEBOSH assignment writing service with curiosity, patience, and care.
The idea of how quickly the word “should” can pull us away from reality really made me pause. I’ve definitely caught myself thinking about what other people should have done, only to end up frustrated because I couldn’t actually control their choices. The two-circle explanation makes that pattern surprisingly easy to recognise, especially alongside the Serenity Prayer and its focus on accepting what we can’t change. I also liked the humorous ending, where the writer notices that even trying to remember the Reality Circles perfectly can become another “should.” That feels very human. It’s a useful reminder for anyone, including students dealing with Last Minute Assignment Help UK situations.
Really nice Article ! An interesting perspective on how open conversations and shared experiences can help people understand different viewpoints and create meaningful connections. Encouraging honest discussions can lead to personal growth, better collaboration, and stronger communities. It’s great to see ideas that promote reflection and learning in such a thoughtful way. Similarly, students can benefit from the right support when navigating academic challenges, and assignment writing help UK can provide guidance when managing complex assignments and deadlines. A valuable read that highlights the importance of communication and continuous learning!
This post hit closer to home than I expected. As a student, I constantly put pressure on myself about what I "should" have done differently submitted better work, studied harder, managed time more wisely. That word really does pull you straight out of reality. Letting go of that pressure changed my entire approach to studying. Getting Edexcel Assignment Help was one of those decisions where I stopped telling myself I "should" manage everything alone and actually accepted the support available to me. Once I made peace with that, my mindset and my results both improved. This concept of Reality Circles explains that shift perfectly.
This post hit closer to home than I expected. As a psychology student, I spend a lot of time reading about cognitive distortions and how words shape our mental state, but seeing it explained through something as simple as the word "should" made it feel genuinely personal. The two circles concept is something I wish more people understood earlier in life.
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